Jeremy: Welcome to another Epic Interview! Today we have a genius in the house… Dr. Antonio Menzies! Welcome to the Gamer Cave.
Dr. Menzies: Bel giorno. I have stolen this comm system from Nelder. ::muffled noises in the background:: He’s duct taped in the background.
Jeremy: Fair enough! Tell Nelder we all say hi down here on Earth!
Dr. Menzies: No, he doesn’t deserve to feel wanted. Wouldn’t you rather know who I am?
Mac: ::quietly:: Ask him if he’s a space man.
Jeremy: Mac wants to know if you’re a space man or if you were born on Earth?
Dr. Menzies: Allow me to introduce myself to your audience: I am Doctor Antonio Menzies, Ph.D (HPV). My accomplishments are my hi IQ and one of the top ten sexiest Italian men ever. I’m from Earth, left it, returned, left again, and I’m on my way back now.
Jeremy: Coolest. Guest. Ever.
Marc: Two thumbs up for the good doctor!
Jeremy: What’s space like Doctor?
Dr. Menzies: Space is not as empty as people assume. There’s greater vacuity in Nelder’s head.
Mac: I almost feel sorry for this Nelder.
Jeremy: He gets to hang out with Dr. Menzies, so I don’t. Are there hot alien babes out there?
Dr. Menzies: You ignoramus! The Zadokians are humanoid, but not compatible with humans. Luckily, humans had been taken there generations ago.
Jeremy: If they aren’t hot, what do these Zadokians do? Are they going to invade our planet? Enslave us? Start a fast food franchise? Tell us man!
Dr. Menzies: Part of their enigma is that they infected us with ARIA, but did they mean to? Seven deaths by amnesia is rather negligent, no? Perhaps they intended to help us but it misfired. The result is a pollution-free Earth, at least in the ARIA parallel universe. Not yours I’m afraid amico mio!
::Mac opens window and takes a deep breath::
Mac: Yeah, there’s still car smoke outside.
Jeremy: Geez, that’s not cool at all. So this ARIA is a virus?
Dr. Menzies: Si, it is an adeno virus causing Alien Retrograde Infectious Amnesia. Before the case, such a thing didn’t exist. Just imagine if it happened in your hometown. No one’s immune, everyone forgetting a year’s worth of memories, backward every week.
Marc: That sounds horrible!
Jeremy: Please tell me NASA is working on a cure to this… ARIA.
Dr. Menzies: NASA were the first to be infected. Any doctor taking a sample became infected. I was on the space station so the crew didn’t catch it. Some others were isolated too. It has amusing aspects though. Just imagine waking up with a women you don’t remember every morning! It could be a disaster or a bella!
Mac: You think we could try this ARIA on either the hot elf girl or the hot vampire lady?
Jeremy: No, we’re not releasing a deadly virus just so they forget their boyfriends! But on that amusing note, let’s enter the lightning round!
Dr. Menzies: Wait you fool! I do have a way to help people!
Jeremy: Why didn’t you say so Doctor!
Mac: You kinda cut him off.
Jeremy: Who’s side are you on?
Dr. Menzies: Listen to me! It’s possible to mitigate the amnesia. Drink an Italian wine, such as Chianti because it helps you forget you’re having a forgetting problem.
Jeremy: What’s the catch…
Dr. Menzies: Alcohol short circuits the brain. Too much alcohol can cause Korsakoff’s Syndrome, by stopping you from absorbing vitamin B. Amnesia creates confabulation where reality and imagination get mixed up. Everyone has this problem, except me.
Jeremy: Italian wine… an immunity to the problem… hmmm… ::looks at the phone Menzies is on with suspicion::
Dr. Menzies: Omega-3 oils from seeds and fish (preferably Italian ones) seem to help. In ARIA, there are other coping mechanisms. Think of the book as a manual.
Jeremy: I’ll be sure to pass on the good word Doctor. Now, let’s learn a little more about you. What’s your favorite Earth meal?
Dr. Menzies: Spaghetti with tomato sauce. Rocket for heart and brain health. Meatballs to annoy the veggies out there like Jena (the feisty astronaut) or Quorn to curry favor. So to speak.
Jeremy: Coolest thing you’ve seen in space?
Dr. Menzies: Ah, the Toks on Zadik – one of Zadok’s moons. The Toks are like tiny sparrows but sweep around in a cloud with a collective mind that communicates with you. In fact, all the animals in their system possess sentience greater than us.
Mac: Whoa – that sounds really cool but also kinda freaky.
Jeremy: That leads us to the last question. Would you rather live in Space or come back to Earth for good?
Dr. Menzies: Once my family and the whole of Milano died from amnesia, my past was curtailed. Since I opened the second case, I know too much. I can recall everything, too much in fact. A lesser person wouldn’t cope and go mad. Am I mad? Si! But not so mad that I can’t plan, plot, and see this phenomena happening to Earth. So, on to Earth where I can entertain the remaining humans with my bedside manner.
Mac: His bedside manner seems… questionable.
Jeremy: A mad doctor? Maybe! But Dr. Menzies might also be our last hope! And to that I say welcome back to Earth!
Mac: I don’t know if this is such a good idea…
**Wish to learn more about Dr. Antonio Menzies? Grab your copy of ARIA: Left Luggage at http://www.amazon.com/ARIA-Left-Luggage-ebook/dp/B008RADGYC/?tag=smarturl-20
**Want to know more about Geoff Nelder, the cool cat author behind the story? Here is his personal website – http://geoffnelder.com
You can find all my published work at http://www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston!