Epic Interviews! with Jeremy featuring Boondock Dittle

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Jeremy:  Man, we’ve got a busy week going!  Another awesome guest has stopped by… one Boondock Dittle.  Welcome to the show!

Boondock:  Well thank you for having me, Mr. Jeremy.  Assuming that you’re no gov’ment agent…

Jeremy:  Government agent?!  Never… those shady spooks are everywhere though.  ::looks around suspiciously::  Did anyone follow you here?

Boondock:  No, I was careful to take shortcuts on the way out.  You know, doubling back and forth and what not.  No one could follow, that I’ll tell you.

Jeremy:  Good.  We don’t need us getting captured and experimented on, right?  ::shudders::

::Mac walks around the corner, looking terrified::

Mac:  I’m too young to be experimented on.

Boondock:  Now that’s exactly what I’m afraid of!  And that’s why I’m here today!  To help people like me and you stay out of the clutches of the gov’ment.

Mac:  Preach to the choir Mr. Boondock sir!

Boondock:  Taking our rights away like that.  Damn shame if you ask me.

Jeremy:  I did some research, to make sure you weren’t with the FBI and saw you’re the leader of the Keepers of the Flag. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Boondock:  Well that’s the God’s truth about the Keepers.  Up in Michigan, I have me 400 acres, wooded mind you, where me and the boys learn how to protect ourselves when this great country of ours starts going to hell in a hand basket.  We even got K of F patches that come free to dues paying members.

Mac:  I want a patch…

Boondock:  Right now, we got a special for new members.

Jeremy:  This sounds exactly like what we need!  How do Marc and I join up?

Boondock:  For you two boys, tell you what I’m going to do.  You come up the Michigan compound for a weekend, stay in my basement guest room for $20 a night… course the door is self locking, so you won’t have run of the place.  Anyway, we’ll do some shooting.  And, I’ll even teach you the “Weasling” move, a $50 value for free.

Mac:  I can book the tickets up right now!

Boondock:  In fact, for the first 25 recruits, I’ll do the same.  Yes sir.

Jeremy:  Man you rock Boondock.  The DC detective we had on last week wouldn’t even let us look at his gun.  This country needs more Boondocks!

Boondock:  You are a kindly man Mr. Jeremy.  And for that I’m even going to throw in one of my favorite military books – Explosive Devices YOU Can Make at Home!

Jeremy:  The value, the savings!  You would have to be a fool to turn down membership to the Keepers of the Flag!

Boondock:  I reckon then that you’ve picked up my message.  And I hope other God and Gov’ment fearing patriots out there will do the same.

Jeremy:  So, it’s time for the lightning round, where we get to know a bit about our guests.  Are you ready?

Boondock:  Yes sir.

Jeremy:  Boondock is an interesting name.  How’d you get it?

Boondock:  Well, my family is from Tennessee.  My real name is Boone, as in Daniel, but the kids in school called me Boondock ’cause of my accent.  It was better than ‘pig eyes.’

Jeremy:  I’d say so.  Do you have a nemesis or arch enemy?

Boondock:  Let’s just say, as the gov’ment might be listening in, that I know who killed my brother Larry.  It was during the Gulf War… and it wasn’t an enemy.  As God’s my witness, I’m coming after you… and soon.

Mac:  Jeremy, we must find this cad and help Boondock get his revenge!

Jeremy:  If this mystery man is listening out there, we have sided with Boondock and will be adding our intellect and gadgets to his cause!

Boondock:  You are surely on the side of right Mr. Jeremy.  The Keepers of the Flag motto is In God, we trust, Our Guns.

Jeremy:  That is an excellent motto.  I think this is where we are going to cut off for the day, as we need to prepare for our weekend training in Michigan.  When can we fly out Boondock?

Boondock:  Well after some evasive moves, I’m going to make my way back to the airport, then back home.  I won’t say what airline I’m flying.  Anyway, come on out this weekend or next.  I’ll put the bullets out.

::loud banging from upstairs::

?:  Everyone down!  This is the FBI!

Jeremy:  They found us!!!  Ahhhh!!!

Boondock:  Run, run for your lives!!

::Loss of connection::

**I would like to thank the immensely talented Glen Barrera for letting Boondock come on the show today.  Show your support by following him @Glen_Barrera on Twitter!

**Want to know more about Boondock Spittle?  Read Glen Barerra’s epically awesome ‘The Assassin Who Couldn’t Dance,’ available at www.amazon.com/dp/B00ZVEMVW0

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-Jeremy

You can find all my published work at http://www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston!

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About Jeremy Croston

I'm a comic loving, soccer playing, devoted husband who has a writing addiction. I can be found at Orlando Solar Bear hockey games, at the local sports bar cheering on my teams from Philly (go Flyers!), and being led astray by my schnauzer, JJ. Check out my Amazon page at www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston to see my collections. Feel free to friend me on Facebook too at www.facebook.com/jcroston2 (there is another one of me out there apparently). Outside of writing, I work in business development and am considered an expert in all things Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thanks for stopping by and looking forward to talking to you soon!
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