Jeremy: Happy Thanksgiving everyone and welcome to a very special edition of Epic Interviews. Today we have an awesome guest, coming to us all the way from the farm give it up for the…
Mac: Why am I wearing a pilgrim outfit?
Jeremy: You’re in theme Mac! Now, if you’re done asking questions, please put your hands together for the…
Jeff: I don’t see anyone dressed up as sweet potatoes on set. This could cause problems with the show not being considered ‘PC.’
Jeremy: I’m here to entertain, not be the morality police. Regular mashed potatoes taste better anyway. Hopefully that’s the last interruption because we have the Thanksgiving Turkey today!
::a large turkey walks around from backstage::
Turkey: (gobbles) Thanks for having me!
Jeremy: Naturally! What’s Thanksgiving without the turkey! So Mr. Turkey, why are you here today?
Turkey: I’m here to talk about the blatant abuse of power by people who refuse to eat turkey on Thanksgiving. Jeremy, you won’t believe some of the savage rumors I’ve heard on the street.
Jeremy: What kind of rumors?
Turkey: People are replacing me with duck, steak, or even… tofu.
::gasping noises can be heard::
Jeremy: Sweet Mother Teresa… tofu? What kind of barbarians are doing that?
Turkey: Uncivilized people I tell you. I mean do they even know what goes in tofu?
Jeremy: I’ve heard everything from innocent children to puppy dog tears. How could they eat such a thing?
Turkey: And that’s why I’m here. I’m a proud reminder that this Thanksgiving, you should be eating turkey, mashed potatoes*, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. If you forgo these time honored traditions, you leave me with little choice.
Jeremy: What are the consequences?
Turkey: I will brand you a communist and gobble loudly outside your house at all hours of the night.
Jeremy: That’s a tough but fair punishment.
Turkey: So this Thanksgiving, do us all a favor and have a big old piece of me – the Thanksgiving Turkey.
*Jeremy’s disdain for sweet potatoes does not represent all the views at Epic Intervi…oh wait, yes it does.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!