The Wintery Tale of Frothy the Snowman #3 (reader discretion is advised)

snowman

*Sing along everyone!*

Frothy the Snowman, he loved to drink his beer, he even got behind the wheel and hit an eight point deer!

Down in the village, with a bottle in his hand, he drank and played, all night and day, until he won a grand!

There must’ve been some magic in that frothy ale he drank, he when he had a dozen and one, he cussed out Uncle Frank!

Oh, Frothy the Snowman, he knew his time was up, so he paid his tab, slapped and ass, then melted into his cup!

::scene start::

Randolph the Reindeer was tied up above an empty vat.  With tape over his mouth, only muffled sounds escaped from him.  Standing below was Frothy.  “You got poor Elmer involved and look what happened to him.”

Randolph’s eyes went over to the corner where the old elf was beaten to a bloody pulp.  Randolph tried to unleash a torrent of Christmasy profanity (words sure to get one on the naughty list), but the tape held.  He would not be talking anytime soon.

Frothy, meanwhile, was enjoying the show.  “Do you know where we are reindeer?” he asked with contempt.  “We’re at Ye Olde Glue Factory.  Generally they only use horses for this, but the owner owed me, big time,” he added with a sneer.

A soft groan came from the corner; Elmer was stirring.  “Frothy, the big boss is going to be very upset about this.”

“I don’t care about some fat man dressed in red!”  His fiery coal eyes focused on Randolph.  “This sad sack of glue materials needs to keep his carrot in his reigns, not my wife.”

“Frothy,” he added with barely a whisper.  “Was it not your fault she cheated on you?”

The snowman roared and ran to the corner.  The poor elf didn’t have a chance before the snowy foot hit him in the chin, sending the elf’s head into the wall.  Candy canes floated above old Elmer, signaling a concussion.

Just as Frothy was getting ready to drop Randolph to his death, the factory door flew open.  With a gust of wind littered with snow, a feminine figure walked in.  It was a slender snowlady, and she looked around in disgust.  “Frothy,” she hissed.  “What are you doing to these poor creatures?”

For the first time this evening, Frothy showed a tad bit of fear.  “Misty the Snowstripper, what’re you doing here?”

“I’m your wife and there will be no more questions from you!”  She shimmied and swayed over to where Randolph was hanging.  “Get that reindeer down this instant,” her voice hard and cold, like a long winter’s night.

With a giant sigh, Frothy lowered Randolph to the ground.  Randolph was about to walk away when Frothy punched him in the nose.  “This isn’t over you walking venison.”

*Part 4 to be posted later today over at http://jefftrelbooks.wordpress.com!

-Jeremy

You can find all my published work, including pre-orders for The Negative Man: City of Chaos, over at http://www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston!

Advertisements

About Jeremy Croston

I'm a comic loving, soccer playing, devoted husband who has a writing addiction. I can be found at Orlando Solar Bear hockey games, at the local sports bar cheering on my teams from Philly (go Flyers!), and being led astray by my schnauzer, JJ. Check out my Amazon page at www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston to see my collections. Feel free to friend me on Facebook too at www.facebook.com/jcroston2 (there is another one of me out there apparently). Outside of writing, I work in business development and am considered an expert in all things Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thanks for stopping by and looking forward to talking to you soon!
This entry was posted in Christmas, Parody and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Wintery Tale of Frothy the Snowman #3 (reader discretion is advised)

  1. Pingback: The Wintery Tale of Frothy the Snowman #4 (reader discretion is advised) | jefftrelbooks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s