The Winter Tale of Frothy the Snowman #5 (reader discretion advised)

snowman

*Sing along everyone!*

Frothy the Snowman, he loved to drink his beer, he even got behind the wheel and hit an eight point deer!

Down in the village, with a bottle in his hand, he drank and played, all night and day, until he won a grand!

There must’ve been some magic in that frothy ale he drank, he when he had a dozen and one, he cussed out Uncle Frank!

Oh, Frothy the Snowman, he knew his time was up, so he paid his tab, slapped and ass, then melted into his cup!

::scene start::

Misty the Snowstripper followed Jake Frost into his house on the outskirts of town.  She was excited for a night with the svelte snow elf.  The house was dark and she heard Jake say, “Follow my voice to the bedroom were we’ll play.”

She did so with anticipation and when she entered, the light flicked on and much to her surprise, Frothy was standing there.  Jake looked down at his feet, appalled at what he’d done.  “Frothy paid me one hundred dollars and promised to leave me alone for the rest of the year.”

Misty, not a snow lady to be taken lightly, walked right up to Frothy.  “I would be more faithful to you if you weren’t such a jerk and a bully!”  Her lovely dulcet tones shook the house.

But Frothy was in no mood to talk to his unfaithful wife.  He reached behind me and pulled out a black garbage bag.  He dumped the contents on to Jake’s newly installed carpet.  Gabby, Misty’s snow sister, tumbled out in pieces.  Her face glared up at Frothy, but before she could say a word, Frothy’s black boot smashed her into watery snow.

Jake ran from the room, terrified of what he’d seen.  He cowered behind the couch, listening to the screams of Misty, who no doubt was encountering the same fate.  The screaming came to an abrupt end and Frothy walked out.  “I owe you an extra hundred for the mess I made in there.  I hope snow doesn’t stain that nice carpet of yours.”

All Jake could do was nod and shudder as he watched the snowman leave.  Was he an accessory to snowmocide?  He had to leave town and quickly!  Gathering himself up he raced to the front door, but as he made to leave another figure was there.  Dressed all in red, the big guy was finally here.  “Jake Frost,” he said.  “Which way did Frothy go?  It’s time for him to get his lumps of coal.”

Catch part 6 (and all the even numbered tales actually) over at http://jefftrelbooks.wordpress.com.

-Jeremy

You can find all my work at http://www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston!

Advertisements

About Jeremy Croston

I'm a comic loving, soccer playing, devoted husband who has a writing addiction. I can be found at Orlando Solar Bear hockey games, at the local sports bar cheering on my teams from Philly (go Flyers!), and being led astray by my schnauzer, JJ. Check out my Amazon page at www.amazon.com/author/jeremycroston to see my collections. Feel free to friend me on Facebook too at www.facebook.com/jcroston2 (there is another one of me out there apparently). Outside of writing, I work in business development and am considered an expert in all things Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thanks for stopping by and looking forward to talking to you soon!
This entry was posted in Comedy and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s