Jeremy: What do you mean he’s been booked on the show again? Don’t you know who he is?
Jeff: Listen, we haven’t had a show for a few weeks and ratings are in the toilet. I made a few calls and he was eager to come back on. What can I say?
Jeremy: I thought we were sending Crosby out in the field for an “on location” special. What happened to that?
Jeff: Jack took vacation. Don’t you read your email?
Jeremy: I have email?
::A short, early 20’s guy walks into the studio::
Derrick: Good morning New York! I’m back!
Jeremy: ::groans:: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the show Derrick Grimm, aka the Horseman Death.
Derrick: Come now old buddy, is that an appropriate way to introduce a previous guest? We had such fun last time.
Jeremy: You tried to take over the show!
Derrick: I was almost successful too.
Jeremy: Why are you back any way?
Derrick: Listen, after saving the world from untold dangers and unspeakable evils, I thought I could use a little cheap publicity. Plus I wanted to make sure I got my digits out to all the ladies of the world. Why should they be deprived of me?
Jeremy: The thought makes me shutter in disbelief.
Derrick: Was that sarcasm?
Jeremy: So you claim to have saved the world from, and I quote, untold dangers and unspeakable evils. Why don’t you tell and speak it for us?
Derrick: So my brothers and I ventured into Tartarus and… wait hang on! I’m not telling you the story! If you want to know, you should buy my series of autobiographies.
Jeremy: Are you serious? I have to buy your crazy and weird tales?
Derrick: That’s right. I even am breaking it down into volumes for you, that way you don’t have to hold a big heavy book in your hands. Today ladies and gentlemen for the low, low price of $2.99 per book, you can start your collection today.
Jeremy: This isn’t some shopping network! Are you seriously hawking your books on my show?
Derrick: And if you order today, the money you spend goes into the Derrick Grimm Foundation. I use the proceeds to take hot girls out on luxurious dates! Act now, operators are standing by!
Jeremy: Well, we’ve sunk to an all-time low today. Jeff, I blame you.
Jeff: Hey, I’m just the producer, what happens on set is all on you.
Derrick: Oh and I almost forgot! The last volume of the first series will be coming out this Spring. How great is that?!
Jeremy: So there you have it folks, Epic Interviews has turned in Epic Infomercials. Until next week…
Derrick: For the first 25 people who order the books off Amazon…
Jeremy: Stop it! Would someone please turn his mic off?!
*Well there you have it folks, the show’s gone to Hell in a hand basket. I guess if you’re interested, here’s the link to Grimm’s Reapers…
**I’d like to ‘thank’ author Jack Crosby for letting Derrick ruin another Epic Interview. Here is the cover to book 1 – Death Among Us.