Jeremy: Hey, was a new logo in the budget?
Jeff: Anything is in the budget if you don’t mind fudging the numbers!
Jeremy: Great, our first day back and we’re going to be under investigation by the IRS.
Jack: Guys, the set is all cleaned up and ready for use. Be careful with the host mic though, I think a rat was chewing on the lines.
Jeremy: We bought a new logo instead of fixing problems? Jeffery…
Jeff: New logos equal ratings. Hosts who might be electrocuted equals ratings. Now get out there, our guests are here!
Jeremy: Guests? I thought you were getting just one?
Jeff: The guy I know brought a guy he knows. Don’t ask questions – we’re live!
::Jeremy sits down behind the desk and the two guests come on out::
Jeremy: Oh no, not him…
Shawn: What’s up b&^%!s – I’m back!
Jeremy: Fantastic, the first show after a hiatus and we have the nerd who believes in ghosts. I think I was better off on the podcast.
Shawn: Hold the phone cupcake, this time I brought back up with me. I met this cool cat down in Key West after my adventures in St. Augustine.
::a second man walks out, this one is dressed like a pirate::
Jeremy: You’ve got to be kidding me… A pirate? What’s next, someone dressed as a clown? Jeff, I might kill you for this.
Pirate: Let me introduce myself, I’m the famed pirate captain, Argus “Merciless” Fletcher, but you can just call me Fletch.
Jeremy: I’m going to call you a fraud here in a minute. What are you two trying to pull?
Shawn: Since you refuse to believe in the paranormal, I brought Fletch along today because he’s an immortal pirate. Plus he’s married to a hot mermaid. I mean, how freaking awesome is that?
Jeremy: (stares blankly) Well, I’ve heard it all. You know what, instead of arguing with you, let’s just hear it. Lay it on me guys.
Fletch: Well I’ve been sailing the Caribbean for centuries now, but I’ve retired as a pirate. Now I run an excursion company in Key West. It pays the bills. Not as exciting as dealing with the mythical Jormungandr or a kraken, but it is much safer.
Shawn: And I totally proved ghosts were real, numerous times! I don’t know how much more I can do to get you to believe. C’mon, give me some up top?
Jeremy: How about no.
Shawn: Fine, but when I go around doing more awesome stuff and proving even more legends are real, you’re going to be the one begging for me to come back on here.
Fletch: Real quick, the true meaning for my visit was to tell your production hand, Jack, that Miranda the mermaid’s pregnancy test came back positive. I think it’d be best if he came back to Key West with me.
Jeremy: (as Jack turns white and is about to pass out) I think we’re going to call it a day here. This is Epic Interviews! not Maury Povich. (Jeremy gets shocked by mic) And for the love of all things holy, can someone fix this microphone!
*Well, we’re back. Tune in again next week as I set Jeremy up with another ‘amazing’ guest. Thanks for dropping by and have a good one everybody! – Jeff, the production manager
Would you like to learn more about the characters on today’s show? Check out the Two Dudes, Brews, & Books library @ http://ucfgk04.wix.com/twodudesbrewsbooks. We’re sure you’ll find a book you’ll love – to throw at someone!