I’ve dealt with a lot more political questions this election season than any other I can remember. Maybe it’s because I’m a crazy ass Libertarian and for the first time in recent history, one of our candidates is actually making a few waves. That, or people have just gone bonkers. Either way, please enjoy these “interactions” I’ve compiled:
#1 – Wasting your vote
Person 1: Are you seriously voting for Gary?
Me: Yeah why?
Person 1: You’re throwing away your vote, basically giving the election to Trump.
Person 2: I can’t believe you’re voting for Johnson.
Me: That seems exactly like something I’d do.
Person 2: Way to waste your vote and give the election to Hillary.
I’m so confused; who’s side am I helping again?
#2 – Watching the debate
Person 3: Watching the debate?
Me: No, I turned it off. I don’t need to see anymore of that dog and pony show.
Person 3: You’re missing Clinton OWNING Trump. How can you not be watching?
Me: A former Secretary of State has more prepared answers than a crazy old man? Stop the presses!
Person 3: Is that sarcasm?
Me: Nothing gets by you, does it?
#3 – Phone Surveys
Person 4: How do you feel about Presidential Candidate Trump? Good, bad, or indifferent?
Person 4: How do you feel about Presidential Candidate Clinton using the same scale?
Person 4: Of the two, who do you feel more negatively about?
Person 4: For the purpose of this survey, can you pick someone…
Me: Well I feel bad about myself for answering this phone call, but I feel really bad towards you for continuing to ask me these stupid question. So the person I feel the most negatively towards right now is you.
Person 4: Touché.
So that’s just a taste of what I’ve dealt with this year. If any of you have any funny stories, feel free to add them to the comments below. Let’s keep it clean, too. No mudslinging or disparaging people for their views.